I don't know if I piss myself off more or if other people piss me off more.

It used to be easy.
I used to simply love people
and they would simply love me back.

Dealing with my mom being an alcoholic again,
my stepdad thinking he can tell me what to do,
no job even though I'm trying like crazy to get one,
a crappy camera that doesn't let me use my full skill,
a university that is in a ghetto,
a car that's falling apart,
a dad that stalks me,
a boyfriend that's insecure,
a best friend that passed away,
a best friend who is jealous that I hang out with other friends as well,
a family that's low on cash,
no food,
a ton of health issues,
bills that go along with those issues,
and much more...

The stress has just piled up.
I have no money.
I've been trying to get a job.
Even with well over a year of experience, I can't.
I don't get it. The 2 interviews I had even went well.
I seriously think it's my credit. I think my credit is like 500 at the highest... Thanks dad.

I don't know where to turn anymore.
No one really wants to hear about your problems.
No one really wants to help.
They just want to sound like a good person.

I gave other people so much money, so much of my time, and so much help...
Now that I need it, they don't really care.

It feels like people just keep getting worse.
What happened to being a good person? I mean being a good person because you want to be, not because it makes you look good or you get something in return.

When I didn't have enough money to get myself food for a day, I gave whatever money I did have and my time to help people.
I did so because I wanted to help them and to make them happy.
I never really got a Thank You.
That's fine, but at least pretend to appreciate what I did?

I've been doing all I can to make things better for myself and everyone else.
I guess that's not enough.
It might help if I wasn't in this alone...

It's a shame that you can put so much of your heart and soul into something but you don't even get appreciated in the end.

I'm sorry to have dumped this all out there to you guys.
I just knew that if I put this in a myspace blog or something, I'd get nothing but fake apologies, false feelings and the like.
=/